They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i out mim tonsoeep
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