I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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