i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
