This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
