why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she smelled like a LAN party
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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