Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
