i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
