Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The feeling are messing with the penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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