just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
PANTIES FOUND
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
