If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
