gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize