I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
