I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
