I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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