Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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