I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
