she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
