i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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