Small penises have feelings too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
