I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
