that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
