I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i dont even know how to be here
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
