I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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