I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize