so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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