"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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