it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
