drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
