girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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