Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize