Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
