Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
