You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
