you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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