strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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