The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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