Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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