I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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