Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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