Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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