People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize