I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
