I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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