that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
