we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
