I just made out with a guy for $7.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
