you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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