Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize