So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
