I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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