Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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