i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
