i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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