I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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