I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
