Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize