Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
