I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
