why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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