rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
