New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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