Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
