My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
