problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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