Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
