So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I stole a fireplace last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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